You and your spouse love each other, but lately you have been having major marriage issues. While conflict in marriage is natural, perhaps you or your spouse feel that things are getting out of hand. At times like this, one spouse may want a separation and one may not. If you are in this situation, don’t lose hope. There are ways of working through your conflicts that both of you can be comfortable with.
Marriage problems can sometimes seem daunting and leave us feeling lost. It is important to remember that like anything else worth fighting for, saving a marriage takes work and lots of creative thinking. If one spouse wants to separate and the other does not, all is not lost. Seek a resolution that best suits your marriage.
You want to separate
You are fed up with your marriage crisis. Things have gone from bad to worse, and it seems that there is no end in sight. Maybe there is a cheating wife or cheating husband involved in your conflict. Communication appears to be at a dead stop, so you have concluded that separation is the next logical step. Before you make any decisions, consider all the consequences of your actions. Think about how living apart will not only adversely affect your lives, but your children’s lives as well. You may find that it is not the best solution to deal with your marriage issues. Talk openly with your spouse and be honest about your feelings. Your goal should be to work through your marriage problems and save your marriage.
Your spouse wants to separate
Your spouse wants a marriage separation, but you want to continue living together while you work on your marriage issues. You feel hurt and betrayed that your spouse wants to leave during this time. It is important to talk with your spouse about why he or she wants to separate. Have a frank and honest conversation about it, and think of some compromises that can enable you to move forward agreeably to resolve your marriage problems and save your marriage. And remember, “frank and honest” is not a license to be unkind to or disrespectful of your spouse.
Although each marriage is different, there are universal communication tools that can help you find solutions to your marriage problems. There are many marriage help options available, including professional marriage counseling, marriage seminars and educational workshops. Make marriage separation your option of very last resort, not your first. It will be worth all your and your spouse’s efforts to have a happy marriage and loving home for your children.